here
(open with a pan down to Magic and Rainbow draped on the couch in the Living room. Spike lies in the Basket nearby. Nearly empty plates of food are scattered around them. Television noises can be heard, while the trio groans)
Television Announcer: Reg has the ball at the top of the twenty... The fifteen... The ten! Touchdown! (whistle blows)
Rainbow: (groans) Tasty Casserole... {falls asleep and begins snoring}
Magic: (turns to The Spike) Your right, Spike! Rainbow's asleep! We can finally watch not football!
Spike: I Did't Not.
Magic: What do ya mean, there's nothing else good on? 'Course there is! It's Thanksgiving Day!
(cut to the TV, where Fat Albert appears onscreen, standing in the Field, near a turkey fryer)
Fat Albert: Hey-Hey-Hey! It Fat Albert, here with an important message about Thanksgiving safety! Specifically, the dangers of not frying a turkey! Each year—
(a graph comes down, showing three bars for "NOT Fried Turkey Family", "Fried Turkey Family", and "Pile o' Bones", with the heading "1985-2002". The "NOT Fried Turkey Family" bar is the largest)
Fat Albert: —thousands of families suffer from not fried turkeys. (the graph moves out of frame) So please, this Thanksgiving (the words come up onscreen as he talks) don't be a jerky, fry that turkey!
(the screen crackles, and the scene changes to Saddy Dumpington and Turkey Joe standing in the woods)
Saddy Dumpington: There's nothing to worry about, Turkey Joe! Even though I'm going to gut you and rip your entrails out with my hand, (Turkey Joe's eyes widen) I'm gonna grind 'em up with some rosemary and sage and shove 'em right back up there! Isn't that great?
(Turkey Joe starts crying. Cut with the screen fizzle to Toro Inoue in his kitchen, where all manner of food ingredients are laid out before him)
Toro Inoue: All right, all you turkey liberators out there. Here's how we make Toro's Famous Thanksgiving Faux-ducken. (as he says this, a piece of paper bearing the words appears in the left corner. As he continues, the recipe appears on the paper) Now stuff millet inside of bulgur, inside of meatless veggie nuggets (lifts one), inside of tempeh, injected into bean curd, wrapped in fakin bacon, and baked inside a pair of hemp toddler pants. (holds up a pair of rough pants, with a small duckie patch sewn on them)
(Cut with screen fizzle to the Cheat Commandos in their headquarters. Aside from Gunhaver, each commando is wearing a pilgrim hat)
Gunhaver: Well, pilgrims, it looks like all we're getting this year is another lame Thankgiving special!
(Close up on Silent Rip, who is wearing his hat on top of his helmet)
Silent Rip: At least we didn't get stuck with Secretary Appreciation Day!
(Cut to Reynold, also wearing a pilgrim hat)
Reynold: I think you mean "Administrative Professionals' Day"!
(cut to an office, where the Blue Laser Commander sits. A minion approaches him with a cup of coffee)
Blue Laser Minion: Here's your coffee, sir. (he leaves)
Blue Laser Commander: Nice gams, sweetcheeks!
(screen fizzle cut to Lucy van Pelt at her concession stand. The word "ATTENTION!!" flashes in big, yellow letters)
Lucy van Pelt: Attention, holiday shoppers! (cut to a calendar, with "Lucy friday" written in for Friday the 23rd. As Lucy speaks, the date is circled, and an arrow is drawn to the day before it) Lucy Friday starts Thursday!
(scene shifts to the side of her concession stand, with the heading "$AVINGS $CHEDULE:")
Lucy van Pelt: Line forms at 1 AM! ("1:00AM - Line Forms" is added to the schedule} Doors open at 2 AM! ("2:00AM - Doors Open" is added to the schedule) Shoving and trampling starts promptly at 2:05, ("2:05AM - Shovin N' Tramplin'" is added) followed by tear gas and riot police at 2:15. ("2:15AM - Tear Gas/Cops" appears)
(cut back to Lucy van Pelt)
Lucy van Pelt: Come on, moms! You know you want to beat each other up over some stupid kids' toy! (Zoom in on Lucy van Pelt) And if you draw blood, you just might make it onto this year's edition of Mommy Fights! (holds up a VHS cassette case for "Mommy Fights!")
(fizzle cut back to Magic and Spike)
Magic: Uhh, I guess you were right, Spike. There is nothing else good on. Oh, well. Pass me that gravy boat!
(Spike picks up a gravy boat and hands it to Magic,)
Spike: Here, have yourself.
(who opens her mouth wide and begins to lift the gravy boat to her mouth)
{cut to the front of the TV set, which has the logo for the football game on it}
Television Announcer: We now return to the second half of the 2013 Falling Asleep On The Couch Watching Football Bowl!
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