Scrappy the Lappy

Strong Bad explains how he is helping the environment.

http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail186.html

STRONG BAD: {typing} Well...ladies? I do plenty to help the environment. Nobody ever gives me credit for my most significant contribution. {clears the screen} Every day I wake up and the first thing I do is NOT drop a piano on Marzipan's head. Who knows how many greenhouse gases I've rescued as a result of not mortally wounding ol' Marzipole. And don't forget my New Year's resolution to stop watering her plants with bleach. Now I water them strictly with {cut to Marzipan's house and a close up on her flowers} recycled cigarette butts.

{Cigarette butts are dumped on one of the flowers.}

FLOWER: {coughing} Oh, that's good stuff.

{cut back to the Lappy}

STRONG BAD: {typing} So, there ya go possibly ladies. My boat take—

FAST n STRONG GLADNESS and MARZIPAN: {faintly, chanting} Scrappy the Lappy! We think it's really crappy! Scrappy the Lappy!

{cut to The Computer Room's window where the silhouette of two picket signs are seen. Fast n Strong Gladness and Marzipan continue underneath}

STRONG BAD: What the—?

{cut to The Field. Fast n Strong Gladness holds up a sign that says "Scrap the Lappy". Marzipan holds a sign saying "Lappy, Take the Dirt Nappy!". Strong Bad enters from the right.}

FAST n STRONG GLADNESS and MARZIPAN: We think it's really crappy!

STRONG BAD: Are you guys picketing my computer?

{medium shot of Marzipan}

MARZIPAN: Yes we are! That Lappy is energy sappy!

{close up of Strong Bad}

STRONG BAD: {stares flatly} That's very clever. How long did it take you to think up—

{cut back to shot of all three}

FAST n STRONG GLADNESS: {posing proudly} Three days.

MARZIPAN: Just look at your power bill from last month.

FAST n STRONG GLADNESS: The bill itself uses eight trees' worth of paper.

{pan to the left to reveal a stack of paper marked "BILLS!"}

{close up of Strong Bad}

STRONG BAD: Are you trying to tell me that $70,000 power bills aren't the norm?

{medium shot of Marzipan}

MARZIPAN: Strong Bad, every time you press enter on the Lappy, the rest of us lose power.

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} For real?

{Push wipe back to the Lappy. There is a list labeled "Okay for Mom" on the screen with various euphemisms for buttocks within it.}

STRONG BAD: {typing in the list} tuckus {presses enter (each time heard with the loud clack of a circuit breaker blowing)} hinders {presses enter} bwathom {presses enter} boontockle {presses enter}

{Push wipe to Homestar Runner with an Atari 2600 joystick.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I'm about to win! {room darkens} Awww... {lights come on} I'm about to win! {room darkens} Awww.... {reverse shot of the TV that reads "PLEASE INSERT GAME PAK, KID!"} I'm really about to win! {room darkens} Again with the awww....

{cut to close up of Strong Bad}

STRONG BAD: Fine! I'll just start using the Lappy's battery instead.

{cut back to The Field}

FAST n STRONG GLADNESS: Uh, sorry. {medium shot of Fast n Strong Gladness} Every time you use that battery, 45 acres of rain forest are burned to the ground!

STRONG BAD: Whoa! {close up of Strong Bad} I knew the Lappy was awesome, but I had no idea of her destructive power! {cut to shot of all three} I gotta get Bubs to help me to overclock it and see if we can't get that up to an even 50 acres.

{medium shot of Marzipan. Her angry brow goes away}

MARZIPAN: You really have to do something, Strong Bad. Even Coach Z does all of his cooking with hydroelectric.

{cut to a close up of Coach Z's hand in the shower, holding a soggy hot dog.}

COACH Z: Ah, the world famous Coach Z {the Sog Dog logo appears in the upper left corner} Sog Dog. {words appear on the screen as he says it} Mmmmm! Drink in that bun!

{cut back to The Field, close up of Strong Bad}

STRONG BAD: Wait. So, alls I got to do is take something I already do and word it differently so it sounds eco-friendly?

{cut back to all three}

MARZIPAN: Yeah, that's what we do mostly.

{medium shot of Fast n Strong Gladness}

FAST n STRONG GLADNESS: Check out my sustainable MP3 player.

{medium shot of Marzipan}

MARZIPAN: And my organic Thelma and Louise DVD.

{close up of Strong Bad, smiling}

STRONG BAD: Yeah, yeah, okay. And say hello to my 65 mile-per-gallon hybrid piano!

{long shot in silhouette of The Field. A piano is seen dropping and Fast n Strong Gladness and Marzipan scatter}

FAST n STRONG GLADNESS and MARZIPAN: Al Gore's beard!

{zoom back in just before the piano is seen smashed in the field next to Strong Bad. Cut back to the Lappy.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} So there, there, THERE we go, maybe ladies. Strong Bad and the environment are now making out in the parent's basement of a solar-powered house. Take a look at the Lappy's new environmentally compliant sticker compliance sticker! {close up of the sticker next to the Lappy 486 logo} And it's got a picture of a little leaf on it, so you know it's good for the environment. {zoom out to the Lappy; resumes typing} So until next week, my boat take—

{The Cheat noises are heard and the Lappy's screen goes dark. Zoom out to see a panting The Cheat (painted green) in a hamster wheel hooked up to the Lappy}

STRONG BAD: Come on green Minty! {Minty resumes running in the wheel} That's good, that's good! Only 17 more hours and I can press send.

{New Paper comes down reading:

"Click gently to eco-mail Strong Bad.

printed on 100% post-consumer brown paper with green ink"}